The View From The Beach

A collection of beach necessitiesIn addition to the story about a better view, a few nights later we were out on the beach drinking again as usual. We we were hanging out with some redneck southerners and a few hicks from the back hills of West Virgina, when I noticed there was an older woman who had joined our crowd and was talking with some of the 16-17 year old guys. Now, I love me some older women, so naturally I approached the situation with a bottle of optimism. Within seconds of me approaching these guys a few feet away, this older woman comes up to me and starts flirting. About two minutes into this ridiculous conversation, this woman starts talking to me about how pissed she was that she had gotten arrested the other night. That’s when it hit me. This was the same crazy bitch that was just trying to sleep with her kids and speak in mixed tongues of Arabic and gibberish. Then I started looking around, out of the 20 or so people who were out on the beach with us that night, only 5 of us were over the age of 19. This brought to mind the question of what exactly did this woman mean the night before when she said that she was just trying to sleep with her “children”?


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